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sample national zoo panda "nationalzoopanda" story:
But in a way, it was just as well. I had no distractions that
summer, nothing to take my mind off my own interests, and I learned a
lot about myself. When anyone asked me about Terry, I told them it was a
rumor. I told a few that he and I had enjoyed a one-night stand and a
bad date and That Was That. If anyone asked about the other rumor --
about me doing both his older brothers at once -- I got all hot under
the collar and pissed and bitchy, and if they persisted, I told them I
could sure have my step-brother dispel their illusions. Enough had
leaked out about that incident on the front porch that nobody wanted Dan
coming around and asking them anything. No way.
But the truth was that I suspected I was poison to any kind of
serious relationship.
[I know, but, hey -- I was thirteen! Give me a break!]
And I suspected that I was always going to be Doormat side of the
male view of the world: All women are either Goddesses or Doormats.
By the end of that summer, I had withdrawn almost completely into
myself. I'd had plenty of practice at that, intensive practice after my
first time --
[Okay; I promise -- but later, okay?]
When school started, a few newcomers made attempts to be friendly
with me, but I was essentially asexual. I became a creature of the mind,
of intellect, reveling in the literature I read, the poems I
encountered, even betraying a talent for the rigorous disciplines --
which I always regarded as a game -- of Geometry. I was blessed with
three teachers who loved the idea of opening a mind to the possibilities
inherent in a particular curriculum: Geometry, English and History. I
actually won honors for my mind.
But as the spring of my sophomore year crawled toward summer,
things were happening. I suddenly realized that I had gone more than
five months without being touched -- aside from playing Yellow Pages
with my sister, more for her relief than my own -- and I was winning
recognition for what I could do with my brain, rather than the shape of
my body.
And I realized I had suddenly begun developing, with a vengeance,
in a way that made all previous spurts seem picayune by comparison.
But that early summer, in '69, a couple of things came together.
One of them was discovering that my phantom step-brother could screw up...continue -> zoo paysites |
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